Forever Missing

From the eyes of a newbie forever missing.


When I say home, what do you think of?


I think of my mother's house, where I grew up, and the security I felt in high school. I also think of my first college dorm that was about 8 feet by 10 feet, I think about how much I miss my Lakeview apartment in Chicago with the wood floors and smell of coffee brewing. I really miss my gym with the tall climbing wall, granite counters and hot showers, and the best coffee in the world at Cafe Cito. I never thought I would miss the CTA, but I do, I also never thought I would miss Chicago winters, but I do...


Recently I realized that from now until the day I die I will always miss something from the past. Something people have always told me is to cherish the present, but how can I when the past has so many more memories?


Hailey

Getting into Trouble

From the eyes of a newbie getting into trouble.

It has been about one and a half months at my new job and I am feeling more settled in, confident, and comfortable. I actually can see my effort helping out the group, and I pop my head over other cubes to ask questions less everyday. But when I step back and look in at myself working...

You know that age around 3 to 4, that age where they know just enough to get themselves into trouble, but they don't know enough to stay out of trouble? I have a brother who is 3.5, right in that stage and what a little.... well, 3.5 year old boy. He thinks he is helping when he lets the dog loose in the neighbors yard to go potty, he thinks he can carry the basket of freshly clean clothes up the stairs until he drops it upside-down on the dirty floor. He brings you your laptop and trips over the rug, he brings you your coffee until he spills it on his hand and screams out in pain... he shuts the car door for you, but your finger was not out of the way...

I feel like I am a 3.5 year old at this office. They are entrusting me with a piece of their company, I interact with their customers, but am I ready? They don't seem the least bit worried that I will "slam their finger in a door," or "drop their clean clothes all over the floor." They give me projects and trust that I will do them right, on time, and I won't mess it up. Perhaps I am fully equipped, and I am second guessing my skills for no reason. I wonder how long it takes to feel completely confident in your work and in your career?

Hailey

Toilet Seat Covers

From the eyes of a newbie & toilet seat covers.

Every workplace has its quirks, and at my work everyone uses Rest Assured toilet seat covers.  "Pull up then down, place on seat, then discard," the directions for this crazy invention. To tell you the truth, I never have even noticed these covers except in the Union Station restrooms in Chicago. I have never used a toilet seat cover or heard of anyone using a toilet seat cover, so when I noticed that those sitting next to me on the toilet were using them I was surprised to say the least.

Every time I use the restroom I hear in the stall next to me the sound of crumpling tissue from the seat covers, and all I can think of is that I hope they don't slip off the seat. Should I be using these seat covers? Am I the only one who has never used one, and I am sure the people who use them at work think I am unsanitary for not using one. 

Every time I use the restroom I wonder what happens to these seat covers after they are used, the garbages in the stalls are empty, so do they flush them or carry them out and throw them away with the paper towels?

I am interested in trying one out but I am not sure what to do with it after it is used. So I just stare at the box glued to the door and listen to others struggle to pull out the cover, place it on the toilet, and carefully sit down. 

Hailey

Living in a new state

From the eyes of a newbie living in a new state.

Many people have told me starting fresh is a rejuvenating experience.
They tell me you can find yourself and grow within. This may be true, but to tell you the truth I have done this quite a few times the last couple of years. When I moved from high school to Judson University in 2005 I started fresh, when I moved from Judson University to Chicago, attended Harrington, and moved three times in Chicago with a new job I had a few fresh starts, when I moved from Chicago back home, and then from home to Indianapolis I started fresh, and really my conclusion is that I loose a lot of close friends, I loose a lot of furniture, money, and experience extreme exhaustion and frustration.

There is a sense of excitement in this experience, but regardless of the benefits that people tell me I will intake, I hope that I can find a place to call home for an extended period of time rather soon.

For the last two weeks I have been sleeping on a blow up bed with a TV and movies, no cable, a full closet, empty refrigerator, a vacuum but no furniture, books but no bookshelves, dirty laundry and no washer, a car with a full tank of gas but no where to go... this is my deffinition of living in a new state. 

Hailey

My first paycheck

From the eyes of a newbie and my first paycheck.

My first paycheck, I had been waiting for this moment way too long! The same day I picked my paycheck up from HR I drove to the nearest Bank of America, a few hours away, and cashed it. What a relief, my account went from cents to thousands in a matter of minutes. 

The only other time I have cashed a check this large was last years tax return which went straight from my bank account to an apartment deposit. It was actually stressful to have a paycheck with that much money, I didn't know what to do with it. My first paycheck sat in my bank account untouched for over a week as I ate egg sandwiches everyday and rationed my orange juice intake for the next few days. Finally after 12 missed calls from CitiBank Tuesday night, I made my move. As fast as the money went from my hands to my bank account, it went into the devils hands, loans. Now I am back to where I started a week ago, but I know another check will soon be in my hands and I will make my trip to Bank of America and a never ending cycle will have started, making  money and giving it all away to evil American Banks who steel money from the poor, I need to find my Roobinhood and move to Utopia.

I don't regret the choices I have made, going to college or having to pay for it, but really, $100,000, five years, yelling professors, thousands of hours of papers and homework all leading to my first paycheck.... was it really worth it? 

Hailey